"KING" HARPER'S DEATH KNELL

King Harper has certainly pulled a beheading kingly life terminating maneuver this past month. Thinking that he could scorch the opposition parties with burning oil he introduced a nation numbing Economic Statement that pulled the financial life buoy from the red ink drowning Liberals, New Democrats and Bloc Quebecois. The Greens were left hugging their trees, hoping the carbon induced smog clouds would clear for falling green manna from heaven.

Not satisfied, King Harper then went on to attack the King's own serfs, the slave driven civil servants, particularly the underpaid one-parent family supporting women, by proclaiming that henceforth, they shall not have any voice in deciding what is equitable pay -- sending them into pre-suffragette frenzy.

"I AM KING!" he shouted.

For His greedy corporate barons, His Economic Statement added more tax reducing slop to their overflowing troughs while increasing questionable billions to the almost invisible 2500 military personnel among 32 million Afghans.

The King's Earls, however, not having read the Economic Proclamation, wet themselves with fear, knowing that their measly 143 seats could not withstand an all-out onslaught from the other non-faithful 165 Earls who were brandishing their sharpened swords across the hallowed parliamentary floor.

"Democracy?" King Harper shouted, "Never heard of it!"

Poor Duke Dion, unable to issue a clear troop command, lost the respect of his Earls, Knights and commoners and had to prop up his opposing authority by forming an unholy tri-alliance with the mom-and-pop business destroying New Democrats and the wailing "Let's Leave Canada" Bloc Quebecois.

King Harper, recognizing foolish usurpation immediately, sent His news machinations throughout the land, denouncing feeble stumbling Duke Dion, his impoverished minions and the dreaded Quebecois beasts.

"My Kingdom shall not fall! We will attack traitorous Quebec first!" rallied the King.

Then His Queen, the globe trotting party loving Governor General, waved her crystal wand and closed the sacred doors to the halls of wisdom and freedom.

Suddenly, the Wizards appeared - those ancient Liberal sorcerers who immediately cast a spell-binding quieting Fog from sea to sea over all the troubled agitated lands; rewriting the King's messages using mind altering runes.

The Wizards peacefully laid Duke Dion to rest in an imprisoned cave of self imposed reflections and set forth to find a shining Knight of hope, truth and charity. A Knight with a magic Economic Sword to defeat the King.

A tongue-in-cheek political commentary...December 8, 2008, by Gerald Tooley